No. I will not ski.

(Above: Exhibit A)

Dr. L to the Enzo and I talked today during my commute back from work. I must say it was a beautiful day to be stuck in traffic for an hour. While rolling at a stalkers speed L to the Enzo discussed how doctored up she was and how much J-Bro was studying.  Amid the bad drivers and hearty laughs we came to a point which lead me to say “No. I will not ski.”

She wanted to engage me in a discussion of plans for a ski trip. I don’t do skis. I don’t do snow boards either.

If there is a decent vindication for the many slain deer in the midwest, it is skiing. Bambi gets to laugh as a fully grown Manhattan stock broker plows face first into a tree, while making the same face the deer made when he hit the deer with his Range Rover.

I also noticed that on skis you tend to go faster than you intended 90% of the time. Usually this is when you forget to pizza. So you say to your self  “how about I just fall down on the fluffy snow… it will look cool (SEE EXHIBIT A) and I’ll have a chance to pizza and french fry properly.” But you don’t fall down because for some reason your balance is so perfect that you could be hit by a Volkswagen and still remain standing. Rest assured though, it only applies when you’re going recklessly fast, as you will fall down in the queue for the lift.

Then there are snowboarders… theses guys are dicks. No, not the people who rent… the 8th grade punks who are too young stab with the ski pole and get away with it.

Fuck snowboarders. Your as cool as those skater kids at elementry schools who do nothing but fall and smoke used cigarette buds. Infact you probably are those kids.

So no I will not go skiing. I will get drunk at the lodge and intertube down the mountain but I will not ski.

Screw Clay Akin… he goes on my list too. Asshole.

Rock the Vote.

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