Cicada, your a dick.

I have to admit that the sound of the ocean and chirping crickets is like warm milk to me.  It only takes 15 minutes or so to put me to sleep with this cocktail of white noise but sometimes an asshole bug likes to ruin it.

I am down in lovely Marco Island, Florida, for my spring break. While I am no longer in school and, as some friends reminded me, have no spring break, I felt it an opportune moment to leave the bi-polar weather patterns of Chicago in the spring time. We have a lovely condo on the beach front here. Our two sliding glass windows provide an almost panoramic view of the Gulf of Mexico which encompasses the white shell riddled sands and light blue water front. Heaven.

At night I drink alone, not out of bad habit but apparently, and with out notice, no one in my family likes Pinacoladas, Coronas, Wine or whiskey. I read a book or watch something liberal enough to me my dad puke and set up the couch for my slumber.

Please note, there is a twin beds in a room where code named Sarah sleeps but as many know twin beds suck unless your 4 years old and you have a cool car tent for it. With no car tent and being 19 years older than 4 I prefer the couch next to sliding glass doors.

Here is where the warm milk comes in. I crack the sliding door to let the symphony of crickets and waves fill the room. Heaven. Then around 1AM, 1 hour into my rest, I hear “Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” just outside the balcony. If Kenny G can hold the longest musical note, some one should give this fucker the longest screaming award. I thought maybe the fugly bug was in trouble, perhaps something will eat it and stop the screaming. Maybe he was tripping on acid and hallucinated gravity reversing itself. Neither prey to the wild or bad trip were realistic and thus, the screaming continued.

I heard “Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” for the next two hours, sometimes broken, some times continuous. I tried to fall asleep but when I closed my eyes all I would see is Bro In Law (FK) wearing a panda hat yelling “reeeeeeee” at me. (EK- we need to get FK a Panda Hat)  Mr. Cicada- your a dick.

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