My Friend: J-Bro

A couple hours before I leave my office in Northfield everyday my roommate leaves work and departs for our Palatine apartment. We will call my roommate Raccoon, for he is nocturnal and never turns the lights on in our apartment… he just sits in the dark.

When I cross the threshold in to my habitat, Raccoon is use usually harmlessly planted on the couch, entranced with a video game or Two and a Half Men. (That show with the gay Chiropractor, Drunky McSheen and that little kid that got fatter- not a porno Emkay)

Tonight there was no break from routine until my phone went off… which scared Raccoon, he’s under the deck across the street right now. My friend J-Bro called from school. Not just any school, U of the I. J-Bro didn’t find his first round of school painful enough and decided to really get mind-F@#Ked with a masters degree.

I was so happy he called I forgot to be excited. This happens to me, I am not kidding. (My parents took me to Disney World- I didn’t smile once, they were so angry… but truly I was really happy) Its aways fun talking to J-Bro. He has the same conversational style as Santa Claus, while sounding like James Earl Jones. We talked about school and work and how K-Lez is doing. He mentioned that he had a couple glasses of wine and philosophized to K-Lez… she didn’t last long. He called me but my phone was locked in Raccoon’s car.

Then K-Lez called and ruined my J-Bro time. It’s not enough that she stabs people in the eye all day, now she has to take me away from Lenard Cohen’s younger brother.

I guess I wrote this whole thing to just share my appreciation of that low-talking, crazy mofo best friend of mine. Cheers bitch, see you soon at the U of the I.

Raccoon’s back.

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