I wrote this blog a couple nights ago- I think I was in my Woody Allen mood. If you read it to your self with his voice in mind, it actually works.
Dear Northwest Community Hospital,
I had recently paid a visit to your ER and was impressed by the recent renovations you had made to your facility. For one, I am pleased to see your waiting room no longer looks like the 90’s set of E.R. (the TV Show) and more like the set of House, M.D. (a TV show).
I did take some time to note some further improvements to your emergency room experience that may have been overlooked.
1. When asking about a patient who was recently admitted, I would rather be greeted by a person in bloody scrubs than an administrator in a nicer suit than I wear to the office. Nothing says “Cha-ching” more than a fully suited woman/man showing you where you can find bay D4. Whom should I bill for this visit?
2. When in the waiting room, I get worried about the water supply when there is a label above the spigot saying “Ask your nurse before drinking…” Of course this makes perfect sense for the patient but for a visitor like me, I’m wondering if its saline solution. Also make sure the spigot works.
3. Please make your soap dispensers look different than your sanitizing stations. Nothing makes you look like a bigger dope in the ER than than trying to responsibly and quickly sanitize with hand soap instead of the foamy sterilizer.
4. The sixties may be over, but I still think you should have a bar in the waiting room. Its late, your friend hits his head at the bar, he’s recovering, your loosing your buzz… not fair.
5. If said friend is admitted for the night, and I come at about 6:30AM to pick him/her up. Lets try to pretend that we all don’t know why she’s/he’s in room D2 and needed to be tied to the bed so he/she didn’t try to make last call with a concussion.
6. Goody bags aren’t just for the maternity ward. Even the evil hygienist at the dentist gives you something at the end of your visit. I get a prescription and a list of what not to do when I get home with a head wound. How about one or more of the following: Helmet, complimentary saline bags, gloves, mask, the doctor’s pen, soap dispenser, a picture of when you came in, lollipops, or scrubs. Then I wouldn’t have to steal them on my way out.
As I have a family who can’t get enough of your ER, I will likely be checking in on the improvements on a regular basis. I hope to see some of my ideas implemented soon!