Letters from the front…

Dearest Lauren,

It’s been many months since we last spoke and yet in my mind we have been together constantly. There is a lot of talk from the Ol’ General that we may see some more action in the next couple of days. The Zombies are strong bastards but we are stronger. Our cause is just and our resolve is really, really strong.

Danny Joe lost his leg to a zombie bite. I had to shoot him in the head. Tell Teresa that Jimmy wont make it for Christmas ‘cuz he found a new girl. She’s a zombie named Midge, and he says she “loves him right.” We all agree, she can cook a mean Beefaroni and she has some good off-color jokes that make us happy.

Just know that when I look up to the sky I see clouds as gray as the gray area of Jimmy’s zombie relationship. But through it, I see stars, the same you see. They twinkle at me, as if to send me simple messages: “your fly is down” or “eat your veggies,” and they remind me of our love.

I wish you could be here, but the truth is, you’re a woman and capable of such little feats. You would really just hold us back.

I love you,


PS: Just shot Midge. Jimmy’s not happy. I thought she was attacking me but she actually really wanted me to try some gum and was just trying to put it in my mouth for me.


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